One of the most unexpected parts of moving to Spain as a Black woman has been the quiet sense of community I feel whenever I see another Black woman here.

It’s hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

We make eye contact.
We smile.
There’s this subtle acknowledgment that says: I see you.

And then we keep it moving.

No performance.
No competition.
No pressure.

Just understanding. You did a brave thing, too!

What surprised me even more is that my oldest daughter, who is 11 years old, notices it, and she absolutely loves it.

She has pointed out how different it feels compared to what we experienced living in the United States. There’s less tension. Less pressure to prove yourself. Less feeling like there’s only room for one Black girl to shine.

And honestly, neither of us misses that.

We do not miss the constant comparison.
We do not miss code-switching just to be perceived as “acceptable.”
We do not miss shrinking ourselves to avoid stereotypes created to diminish Black women’s value, softness, intelligence, or femininity.
We do not miss the hair discrimination.
The exhaustion.
The feeling that your existence is constantly being filtered through someone else’s assumptions.

Living abroad has made me realize how much emotional energy Black women in America spend simply navigating systems that were never designed with our peace in mind.

There are approximately 21.1 million Black American women in the United States, one of the most educated, resilient, entrepreneurial, and politically active demographics in the country.

Black women earn the majority of degrees awarded to Black students in the United States, accounting for roughly:

• 64% of bachelor’s degrees
• 71% of master’s degrees
• 66% of doctoral and professional degrees

We are also the fastest-growing demographic of entrepreneurs in America. Myself included!

And despite carrying so much: families, communities, workplaces, movements, culture… Black women continue to show up, build, lead, nurture, innovate, and create.

That’s why I sometimes think the greatest threat would be Black women fully recognizing our collective power and moving in true unity.

Because united Black women are powerful.

And maybe that’s why so many systems subtly condition us toward division, comparison, scarcity, and competition instead of connection.

But here in Spain, something feels different.

When I see another Black woman, usually American or West Indian, walking down the street, there’s often this unspoken sisterhood between us. Not because we all know each other personally, but because we recognize the courage it takes to step outside of what was expected of us.

To leave.
To explore.
To choose peace.
To create a softer life.
To raise our children differently.
To prioritize joy, safety, health, presence, and freedom.

And for my daughters to witness Black women existing this way: relaxed, visible, thriving, traveling, laughing, taking up space without apology, has been healing for me in ways I never expected.

Moving abroad did not erase every challenge in life. There is racism EVERYWHERE. Including Spain. But nothing compares to the systematic toxicity of racism in the United States.

Though I am aware this is not the experience of every Black woman in Spain, our move did give us room to breathe.

And sometimes, that breathing room is enough to finally hear yourself, and see yourself for everything you are and not what you have been conditioned to be.

To any Black woman considering moving abroad, especially to Spain: you are not as alone as you think you will be.

There is community here.
Sometimes loud.
Sometimes quiet.
Sometimes just a knowing glance between two Black women passing each other on a street in Spain.

But it’s there. And it’s beautiful.

If you’d like to know more about our move abroad, and are curious to see if you can do it too, book a 1:1 call with me to learn every step I took to prepare, plan, and execute my move abroad alone, as a solo mom with my two girls, and how it made our move a success and has us thriving in Spain.

xoxo

Your Mom Friend, V