From the U.S. to Spain:
How I Moved Abroad from New Jersey as a Black Divorced Mom with Kids and Found the Freedom, Safety, and Joy I Didn’t Know I Was Missing.
Leaving the U.S. as a single mom with kids can feel impossible, but I’m living proof that it’s not only possible, it can be the best decision you’ll ever make.
Just three months ago, I packed up our lives in Jersey City and moved to Alicante, Spain, with my two daughters, ages 5 and 10. Today, we’re thriving. We walk to school in the sunshine, enjoy fresh markets and beach days, and I’ve never felt safer or more at peace.
If you’ve ever dreamed about moving abroad with your kids, whether it’s to escape the chaos currently going on in the U.S., the school shootings, the broken healthcare system, the poison in our food, the inflation and high cost of living, to find freedom to be who you want to be without prejudice, or start over with a new life and journey, this post is for you.
Why I Decided to Move Abroad as a Black Mom
As a divorced Afro-Latina mom in America, I constantly felt the pressure of doing it all, working long hours, trying to keep my girls safe, and navigating the daily stress that comes with raising kids in the U.S.
But deep down, I knew there had to be more to life than survival mode. I wanted peace. I wanted affordable healthcare, and I wanted my daughters to feel safe walking to school. I wanted community, slower days, a social life away from the isolation that has plagued so many Americans, and a chance to breathe in my own skin without fear.
After months of research, I decided to move abroad to Spain on a student visa. It was the more affordable option at the time, and the best decision I’ve ever made. And my basic U.S. Spanish is trash, so don’t let that scare you.
Life in Spain: The Reality of Raising Kids Abroad
Moving to Alicante, Spain, has given me the peace and freedom I was searching for.
Here’s what our new life looks like:
- My daughters go to public school in Spanish and are already making friends and speaking the language.
- They take ballet and swimming lessons at local community centers, affordable and high-quality services that I could barely afford in the U.S.
- We spend weekends (and some weeknights) exploring beaches, castles, and local markets.
- The cost of living is a fraction of what it was in New Jersey; everything from rent to groceries is more affordable.
- And as a Black woman living in Spain, I haven’t experienced racism here the way it is an ever-present nuisance integrated in a system built against me thriving, like in the U.S. The Spanish people have been kind to me and my daughters, respectful, and welcoming.
The slower pace of life, the focus on family, and the general feeling of freedom here have been life-changing.
How I Afforded to Move Abroad
One of the biggest questions I get on TikTok (@YourMomFriendV) is: “How can a single mom afford to move abroad?”
The truth is, you don’t need to be rich; you just need a plan.
Before moving, I started building digital income streams that allow me to work from anywhere. I have a one-person AI Automation Digital Marketing Agency. I help moms learn how to make money online through digital marketing, joined affiliate marketing programs, and I freelance using my Sales & Marketing background. These are the skills and resources that helped me fund our move to Spain.
If you’re serious about creating your own work-from-anywhere lifestyle, grab my Free Moving Abroad Checklist in my Stan Store. It walks you through the exact steps I took to plan my relocation, from visa prep to budgeting for the first six months and school enrollment.
What Surprised Me Most About Living Abroad as a Black Mom from the U.S.
I expected culture shock. I expected to feel out of place. But instead, I found peace.
Spain has given my family a sense of safety and joy that I didn’t know was possible. The community is warm, my daughters are thriving, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like I’m fighting to survive. The whole hustle culture is very much American.
As a Black mom living abroad, I want other women to know… You can do this too. You don’t have to wait for perfect timing. You just need a plan, courage, and support from those who’ve done it before you.
How to Start Your Own Journey to Move Abroad with Kids
If you’re thinking about moving abroad, here’s what I recommend:
- Start your research early (At least 12-6 months): Look into visas, school systems, and the cost of living.
- Download my free Moving Abroad Checklist: It’s the exact tool I created and used to stay organized.
- Build your online income: Start freelancing, offering services, and/or selling digital products.
- Connect with other moms abroad: Follow my journey on TikTok and Instagram (@YourMomFriendV and @YourMomFriend_V) to learn from real-life experiences. Join expat Facebook group for the cities you are interested in moving to, so you can get an idea of life abroad before you even land.
- And most importantly, believe it’s possible. Because it is!
Why I Created YourMomFriendV
I started YourMomFriendV to help other moms like me, get support from divorce, and build a cmommunity, but when I deceied to move abroad with my daughters, and everyone was so supportive and kept asking my how I did it, I realized I was not the only mom who dreamt of a better, different kind of life, that is no longer sustainable in the U.S. A country where the system is built against us. It is so hard to say that out loud, but it’s the reality we live in.
Here, I share tips, stories, and digital tools to help you:
- Plan your move abroad with kids
- Learn how to make money online to fund your move
- Get everything you need that made my move and trip less stressful.
- Build a life of peace, purpose, and freedom abroad
Whether you’re just curious or already packing your bags, you’ll find everything you need to make your move abroad a reality. Plus the encouragement to actually do it.
Ready to Start Your Journey?
You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to wait until your kids are older. You can start preparing today.
👉 Grab your copy of my free Moving Abroad Checklist in my Stan Store.
👉 Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @YourMomFriendV for daily tips, real mom abroad talks, and behind-the-scenes experiences of our life in Spain.
👉 Book a Moving to Spain with Kids 1:1 Call with Me
👉 Check out my curated Amazon Storefront for tried and true products that helped me with my move and settle in Spain like a pro.
From one mom to another, if you’ve been dreaming of moving abroad, take this as your sign.
Life abroad isn’t perfect, but it’s peaceful. And peace is everything.
Cheers to new beginnings!
XOXO,
Violet
It Always Seems Impossible, Until It’s Done. – Nelson Mandela
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